Sunday, July 7, 2013

The days you would give (almost) anything to go back....

A Hopeful Post in the Midst of Truths I don't want to accept!
Time, a precious gift. There have been a million, literally a million, songs, poems, blogs, quotes, speeches on the fact that time just keeps passing us by. But we still wish we could go back, enjoy that amazing day with your family again, have the time to create another memory that never happened because of circumstance,  go on to have one more conversation with your Grandpa just to ask him one more question, or sit and look at old photos with the 1 person you know who is in them - so you could hear the story of that day from their lips one more time. One hug, one moment, one photo, one more moment of mutually expressed love... Oh, dear time, you pass us by.
I am not sure why this is consuming my thoughts tonight, but I assure you I saw pictures on facebook tonight of people who would have loved a little more time with someone they loved. I don't know every story, but you have known mine. I would have loved another day (or really infinite days) with my little babies, but I have to focus on the days I get with Chase and E, making the most of what I actually get and accepting the time I will never have until Heaven. I question what time I would want to gain or get back, what would change in my story if I had it to do over, do you wonder that often too? There are some moments I would love to relive for the joy that was, and time I wish I had been given for the joy that could have been.
Oh Lord, what will you say about our fleeting time:

Ecclesiastes 3: 1 - 15
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account."

A wise teacher, known to be wise by Gods own wisdom, as a gift, wrote this. I cant help but assume that he understood things would happen and we would love to have a chance to go back, but unfortunately it would never exist for him or us. What to do? We accept our time as it is. We accept the Sovereignty of God. However, I love the conclusion he comes to in Ecc. 9: 1
"So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise and what they do are in God’s hands, but no one knows whether love or hate awaits them."

No do-overs, no over-time. We have no idea what our lives will turn out like - if we could go back, what would change? If we had been given more time or just taken what was there, what would change? We think we know the answer, somehow our lives would turn out better. But if God gave us what we have, and He was wise enough to let this wisdom (above) be known to us, then I choose to follow His wisdom. Reminiscencing on my past, not for the pain, but for the "satisfaction in the toil." Those moments that will make me more like the person He has always intended me to become, His son Jesus. Knowing who I was and who I am becoming because of the time I can't have or take back from my past. I would love going back, but I will love going forward more, one day...one day I will love THIS more!

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