2014

To say I am going to get a Christmas card or a New Years card out this year, would be a lie. I think I am learning to not stress doing everything and just realizing I should do what I can. SO here is the letter I love writing, and packing, and stamping every year but not this year - since my hands are full with a new, cherished son!
Chase and I were discussing this past year and we both said, this was just our best year. I hate to classify a best and rate years, but this one was just so good, so changing, so full of love and excitement. I cant help but say - it was a full, wonderful, and yes, our best yet!
In January we made the choice to purchase Disney Passes. At the time we lived so close to Disney, that we knew we would use them often and we did. We had several fun adventures and short, mini vacations scattered through this past year. E grew and changed so much and experiencing the imagination of a child alongside her, brought about many cherished memories. Grammie and Grampie even joined us on several of our trips, which was fun. 4 or more adults chasing around a 2 year old.... Interesting stuff!

 

 



In April, the biggest surprise came just one day after a very rough day. We had to put our beloved Pippy down because she was very sick. Surprisingly the next day we got the best, most wonderful, amazing news came when we found out we were expecting again..... I seriously remember that moment as if I were a by-stander watching myself find out this news. I definitely cried tears of joy, ugly tears, but joyful ones. Chase was in shock, happy shock, but it was a total surprise - one we wanted; but we just were unsure if another pregnancy, and a successful one at that, was in our future - and it WAS because December 16th our son was born. His birth was beautiful. In the surgery room, they were playing Christmas music, and "Silent Night" was ringing in our ears when he arrived. I immediately burst into tears of joy again. The Dr. said "You must be very happy today." I replied a response, truly from the Holy Spirit, because I have never worded parenting like this, but it was a truth that came and impacted my heart and I repeat to E and J now often; I said "I just feel so privileged to be his mom." It took many of the people in the room back, including myself, one nurse seemed as if she as never heard a parent say that and I could tell they all were sharing in our joy.  Chase was humming "Silent Night" to our son as he held him, it was a perfect moment. A truly perfect moment. A delivery nurse later told Chase how nice it was to see parents who cared and loved so much, just taking in the moment with us. E loves being a big sister and has adjusted very well. We are so proud of her!

 

 

 

 

To be honest, this was a big year - E and I traveled to OR to visit family and enjoy a beautiful wedding! While there, we made some amazing memories, such as my grandparents being able to be with all their Great-Grandchildren. It was a time that will always stay close my heart and I hope more time with West Coast family will be more frequent in the years to come.

 

Then, following up the week of vacation, I returned to news that Chase had been offered a job in the Panhandle. He asked if he could accept it, and after talking about it, we decided it was the right move for us, so we could be closer to family. Chases job has been good to him and I also found a new job I love at a local clothing and dress boutique. It all happened very fast, and it was so hard to leave Clearwater and our family there, we still miss it and each person in our lives there. However, we have enjoyed living closer to family and giving E the chance to get to know her grandparents and especially her great-great grandmother (Granny), who lives close by for visits. In fact, one of my favorite memories of the two of them, happened just a month after moving here. She bonded so quickly to her Granny, that when we attended a family wedding here in the area, the second she saw her Granny, E immediately ran up to her and reached over her walker to hug her. Seeing that reminded me the blessing of living close and helping E gather cherished memories of her Granny. Granny turned 95 this year, so we are so grateful to have this time with her. 



 

Other highlights included:

The funnest, best, baby celebration ever in Clearwater.

 

Joining a new church with our family!!

E starting school and meeting lots of new friends!!! (Her, Chase, and I)



 

Celebrating E's birthday!

 

And kinda meeting Santa....

 





 

This was a special year. A very special one... And E began to understand how generous and loving the Lord is to send Jesus to earth to be our Savior. I was grateful that she understood that Jesus came, and that was why we celebrated Christmas. She has begun to learn scripture verses and loves reading. Chase and I truly are privileged to be parents to E and now J. I am grateful, celebrating a gracious, loving year given from our Lord!

 

 

All our love,

Chase, Rebecca, Elizabeth and Jackson

 

A perfect song....

Psalm 116

Psalm 116

¹ I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
    he heard my cry for mercy.
² Because he turned his ear to me,
    I will call on him as long as I live.

³ The cords of death entangled me,
    the anguish of the grave came over me;
    I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
⁴ Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Lord, save me!”

⁵ The Lord is gracious and righteous;
    our God is full of compassion.
⁶ The Lord protects the unwary;
    when I was brought low, he saved me.

⁷ Return to your rest, my soul,
    for the Lord has been good to you.

⁸ For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
    my eyes from tears,
    my feet from stumbling,
⁹ that I may walk before the Lord
    in the land of the living.

¹⁰ I trusted in the Lord when I said,
    “I am greatly afflicted”;
¹¹ in my alarm I said,
    “Everyone is a liar.”

¹² What shall I return to the Lord
    for all his goodness to me?

¹³ I will lift up the cup of salvation
    and call on the name of the Lord.
¹⁴ I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
    in the presence of all his people.

¹⁵ Precious in the sight of the Lord
    is the death of his faithful servants.
¹⁶ Truly I am your servant, Lord;
    I serve you just as my mother did;
    you have freed me from my chains.

¹⁷ I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
    and call on the name of the Lord.
¹⁸ I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
    in the presence of all his people,
¹⁹ in the courts of the house of the Lord—
    in your midst, Jerusalem.

Praise the Lord.

<sup>I found this scripture right before J was born. I absolutely praised the Lord upon reading it because He knew I had yet to find the right scripture to pray of J's life and this just sums up the journey we have been on to have and hold another child. With his arrival I have read this scripture over and over him and prayed it and praised through it. Now I share it with you!

Love, Rebecca
Little J's Mom</sup>

Last thoughts before J arrives!

I wasn't planning to write tonight, but I am assuring myself I will go into labor tonight. I dont know how, but I want it to happen. That sounds so silly, but I really am anxious for his presence outside my womb. Stubborn me would wait up all night if I were sure he were coming tonight. 
Reality, I need some time to reflect, right now, on the love that exists between us in our current state and the changes that come with hearing those first cries. 

Jackson I love you now because you are my son, you are growing me in and it amazes me. I have waited to feel little kicks again, and your life in has gifted me that. I have seen you blink, and open your cute little mouth and those are stunning images - but I want to see you face to face. Is it selfish that I want that more than I want the intimacy of your little bodies current dependence on mine? I wish it didn't feel selfish, but come, please come soon. I want to hold those cute little hands I felt press against my belly so strongly the other night - and kiss each little finger. If timing is everything, we would share a 10th birthday if you come in the next 24 ('ish) hours.... Plus Daddy and I's anniversary is the 10th, soooooo... it kinda just works, don't cha' think Jackson? 
Honestly, there were days I wondered if little you would ever exist, if I would ever have the faith and strength to carry little lives inside - or how long it would take to heal up from earthly loss. I was surprised to find you - I was grateful, I was overwhelmed. When I started crying after I got the positive test, that you were positively alive - it was as if I was watching myself from the sideline. Could it be? Could we really be doing this again? And yes, we did it again, we have you - we have had you... all this time. I have not taken it for granted. Not gonna lie to you, I could have prayed more, I could have journaled more, I could have taken a lot more belly pictures - but God gave me grace on this journey of ours together, these 38 weeks and 2 days thus far. And to think the maximum I will have to wait to see you in my arms and not my belly is 6 more days, max! But like I said, today works too! 
When you read this, once you're older - I am sure it will just emphasize what you have, at the point, learned about me: I am impatient and a go-getter - well, I hope you think I am kinda patient (with you and E that is - but other than that!!! NO). 
Jackson Abram: God is gracious and exalted.... and He so is.... You are all His. Every cell given by His grace, and exalted because He is creator and He loves you. 
Psalm 139 I prayed over and over to E and have written it for her in her journal, read it to her and now I read it, write it, pray it for you....

"You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully (reverently) and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you... Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

See you soon! Love, Mommy