"Today feels like glass, a glass that is sitting on a counter, in a kitchen with two little children running around it and its not broken but it could be. That glass is full of our life. We are living around it and trying to live this amazing, best life - but it is fragile and it could get damaged. Have I deceived myself that the glass is really plastic and would not break? Have I convinced myself the ability to reach it and knock it ground, letting it shatter is just to far to reach? I think I have. I have told myself that its a glass that will never be broken, but it could be - it could be reached and when it is, it is glass that will shatter and that life will be broken. My marriage is fragile! Why? Because of what could be! It can be whole or it can fail and become pieces of something that was once really beautiful and lovely to look at. All the choices we make around that glass need to be choices that protect it and the ensure it is setting in the safest place. We are not swatting it, fighting it, or trying to intentional throw it to the ground to destroy it - we want it to hold our life together. And my children, they are fragile, they are also rowdy - and their glass requires my protection! So I protect it vigilantly, constantly, I shield it from their swipes and rambunctiousness. I teach them and guide to a place they know its value and choose to let it be protected and remain whole - as least I hope I do. There is, for me, this constant battle around this glass, all the what-ifs that could get to it, hurt it, crack it, and just plain leave our life glass in need of repair, knowing the veins of brokenness will always be seen - I dont want a repaired glass - I want a whole glass, a pretty glass - why cant I just have that."
And that was all I wrote, and I remember being damn frustrated when I wrote it! Today I would say, there are definitely nicks in the glass, I just cant require as much perfection and flawlessness as I once wanted. I think today ME would say to younger ME "Sometimes just enough is ENOUGH." Who in my life has heard me say that? Show of hands please!!! I think this little truth can be applied to Faith, marriage, child rearing, and just surviving.. And I know my friends who love Jesus, like me will say, "Well, Jesus wants you to Thrive!" I mean there is a whole dang song about it, but I think Jesus tells us "Sometimes I give you just enough and only your faith thrives." For me, in the imperfection of living and defending the life that is best, I realize the best knowledge to thrive is just knowing He is with me all the time, in spite of it all, you know what I am sayin'?
A whole thought, completed and done... With lots of love, hugs and honesty from this mommas heart to you.....
